Gumtree Got Brainwav'd #7 - The Public Prankster
posted by A.J @ 11:36 AM
After John's successful leaps and bounds on Gumtree, I thought I'd put my own spin on this RB sensation again by throwing up yet another ad. The headline was 'Do you like to adventure into naughty territory?' and starred this little hottie:
(Image google 'camwhore' and click page 21....or so.)
(Image google 'camwhore' and click page 21....or so.)But of course with every sexy title and sexy photo, there needs to be a sexy paragraph to get the lad's jaws dropping. Here's her juicy description:
Could you resist? Well alot of people couldn't and what follows proves that any Australian male would go to the end of the earth to do a chick in the worst possible way. Fuck le French, we are the true romantics. Enjoy.
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hey i will take u by car to the bush.somewhere u can scream as much as u want when im fucking u hardly.somewhere very quiet or we can do it in botanic garden on the lawns.would be nice.dont miss the chance bby.lets have fun together
Sounds fun, but how do you plan on slammin' me in the gardens if your 'hardly' fucking me? Is this dry sex or something?
no its a completely wet and wild sex.I will show u how i will fuck u. u have to come with me bby.ill take u somewhere no one is there.u can scream wildly while im licking your wet pussy and while im fucking u hardly.just come with me
No, see, if your 'hardly' going to fuck me, then why bother fucking me at all?
No u didnt get it.when I say hardly I mean my dick will be very hard and that gives u a nice feeling and u will love it.once u taste it ,u will be always thirsty for it.so dnt waist the time.
Well I certainly don't want to always be thirsty for it, how hard would my life be then? Would you be willing to organise some removal surgery?
wat do u mean by removal surgery? plus i can be olways there for u if u want so your life wont be hard any more
What, now your not going to be hard anymore? How will we do it then?
I don't think you understand.
Not really, I generally stay away from standing under tall trees in lightning storms, bridges and tall buildings.
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In one of the small streets of the city, behind a green/blue bin on a lovely and romantic mid night! :), I would luv to just do it to you!
Sorry, yellow bins are more my thing, especially if they've got that talking bin that eats telephone books. I love that guy!
Ok, then how 'bt in my bedroom, in the backyard of an Auburn house....!?!
Is there a talking bin there?
oh ya. there is. When do u wanna talk to her/him?
Is it like a dumpster, or a wheelie bin because, and call me shallow, but I'm not really into fat bins.
thats k! This is really slim. And its a wheelie! And come over to have a look! Its waiting gladly for ya deary babes! :)
Too late, my neighbors recycling bin proposed to me last night. Its got a slick blue look, I couldnt resist. The weddings in May, want an invite?
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hey gorgeous wow i love your pic i would love to fuck you in a play ground or at a park how do you like it i love to play rough and would pleasure you how ever you would like me to lets get naughty baby. thats sucks bout your ex owell we can have more fun
Oh baby, I'd love it if you used more grammar. In fact, any grammar would do really.
sorry? what do you mean by no grammar?
well usually when you type a sentence like this that contains no punctuation marks exclamation points question marks and a bucket load of bad speling then youve just got one long sentance that stops and starts nowhere making it extreamly hard for the reader to understand and quite frankly not making me feel very horney whatsoever compleatly illuding me as to why you emailed me in the firstplace god im so wet right now
wet you say, Im so horny!! sorry about the grammar, it'll pick right up for you =)
Im sure you will. Bye.
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The names ****. Have to find out if your ad is for real though, please email me if it is and send me a hotter picture, then I'll send a picture your way. I'd do you anywhere, I've done it on a train full of people before lol. That was scary.. Cheers
On a train? Really? Did you get any ticket inspectors involved?
Was thinking about it, but then I decided I don't like fat old men.
Thats too bad, I've got a fat old ticket inspector man fetish.
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Hey there, I'm 19 year old, from sydney and i am still a Virgin. But i would like to make my first time rememberable. So please get in contect with me and we will defenatly get up something extremely wild. like in the park or in Train stations. lolz' Cheers, Looking forward to hear from you
This guy had to be kidding right? I mean, who goes on a dating site and willingly admits that they're a virgin? So I replied with this:
Wow baby, thats so hot. I love Virgins, especially music stores and aeroplanes. But how can you get up to something 'wild' if youve never been 'wild' before?
Surprisingly enough, he didn't reply. Idiot.
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hi dear, if you want to try new friendship, not the one that is only think of relation, but the one who wants to be happy with, lets try it, we can join the life, talking, walking and drinking together, we can laugh together and we can have the best time, so if you want to be cool just send me an email::)) show must goes on
Cant we just have sex? Hot, wild, passionate, filthy, illegal sex?
Sure!
Sorry, just lost my mojo.
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I'm one of those guys that says pfft I'm not answering that ad it's clearly designed to lure me in and then take my money, car and pants. Anyway if it's not say hi to me.
Hi to me.
hahah lovely, hi to me too. So... who are you? how old are you?
Someone you work with, and I don't think the manager's gonna be happy when he hears that you spend weekends trolling through dating sites. Nor the staff.
Really? i work for a film company that distributes pornographic films. I'm sure my mates at work won't mind.
LIAR!
Yeah, It's true I don't distribute pornography. But we can all dream can't we.
You can 'dream' about getting fired.
Ok. Cya monday.
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bad for your boyfriend good for everyone else Id have you wear a short skirt and do you from behind in a packed bar you know where every one is pushed together id slip into your allready wet pussy and you would have no underwear on and you bend slightly foward to let me in and after I take you aut to the car park to finish the job off with my toung after your two tis my turn and I take you home to the big bed and toys to fuck you sensles all nightlong till you beg me to cum and let you sleep.good night mitch
Wow! You do sound like a young little go-getter. That sounds perfect, hopefully the staff at my retirement home will let me out for the night and I may take a little while putting on my support system bra, but after that we can boogie like back in the good 'ol days. I hope you have a fetish for walking frames!
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Hey, I would takeyou behind any restaurant or shop, in fact i would just take you from behind.
Infact, I would just take you. See what I did there.
Wowie, are you a magician? What other tricks can you do?
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Hey, whats your private email? How long you in OZ for?
Well it depends really. Dorothy keeps going on and on about finding her way home and judging by how long this yellow brick road looks, probably a while.
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i am interested. but yuo are in so far. i am in city. hoe can we meet?
Indian smoke signal?
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Hi.. Well I'd like to do you in my boat infront of the opera house.. my boat is still a virgin.. and really want to break it in.. Want to help?
Sure! As long as you and the boat make it all about me. Just out of curiosity, how well hung is it?
Of course I could make it all about you.... Do you have some other suggestions of things you would like to do? How well hung is it? You mean me?? Ahh just average I guess... about 6in.. Why are you some girl that only loves big?? It's all about angles etc.. I am sure 6in would do you just fine!
No, I mean the boat. 4 footer? Mmm, I hope its got a milky finish, that color really gets me off. In fact, screw you, when can me and your boat meet up?
Haha..
Ahh the boat.. Well it's 5.4m, so 18 foot, but seems bigger cause it is really wide.
haha.. so you like boats?! Milky finish aye... yeh it's white.
So where are you in Syd? Are you at work at the moment?
Im on my mobile email down at the docks searching for your boat. All these boats, I'm so turned on. Oh look! A cruise liner!
Unfortunately it's not at a dock!
You really don;t like to reveal much about yourself do you??!
It sure as hell was taking this guy a while to click on, so the next email sent said how this was all a joke, yada yada. Here's his reply:
Wow, i had no idea! Kinda thought you were a bit seedy haha!
So did you wanna meet up[?
Wow.
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Ill admit, this one was rather difficult to pull off, it seems like more and more guys are getting the hang of writing decent, legible emails to girls. I guess this means we must delve further into our twisted minds to think up even more ridiculous ads to post on Gumtree without getting banned.
Hey guys,
I'm a 22yr old student who just recently lost her virginity to a boyfriend who's no longer in the picture, he left me for his friend Derrick. The thing is, we had sex behind a restaurant. The thrill of doing it somewhere risky and dangerous just makes me go wild, so I'm looking for a man who can play naughty in naughty places. Nothing serious, completely casual.
Tell me where you'd do me, the more adventurous and far out, the better. Send pic also.
Could you resist? Well alot of people couldn't and what follows proves that any Australian male would go to the end of the earth to do a chick in the worst possible way. Fuck le French, we are the true romantics. Enjoy.
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hey i will take u by car to the bush.somewhere u can scream as much as u want when im fucking u hardly.somewhere very quiet or we can do it in botanic garden on the lawns.would be nice.dont miss the chance bby.lets have fun together
Sounds fun, but how do you plan on slammin' me in the gardens if your 'hardly' fucking me? Is this dry sex or something?
no its a completely wet and wild sex.I will show u how i will fuck u. u have to come with me bby.ill take u somewhere no one is there.u can scream wildly while im licking your wet pussy and while im fucking u hardly.just come with me
No, see, if your 'hardly' going to fuck me, then why bother fucking me at all?
No u didnt get it.when I say hardly I mean my dick will be very hard and that gives u a nice feeling and u will love it.once u taste it ,u will be always thirsty for it.so dnt waist the time.
Well I certainly don't want to always be thirsty for it, how hard would my life be then? Would you be willing to organise some removal surgery?
wat do u mean by removal surgery? plus i can be olways there for u if u want so your life wont be hard any more
What, now your not going to be hard anymore? How will we do it then?
I don't think you understand.
Not really, I generally stay away from standing under tall trees in lightning storms, bridges and tall buildings.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In one of the small streets of the city, behind a green/blue bin on a lovely and romantic mid night! :), I would luv to just do it to you!
Sorry, yellow bins are more my thing, especially if they've got that talking bin that eats telephone books. I love that guy!
Ok, then how 'bt in my bedroom, in the backyard of an Auburn house....!?!
Is there a talking bin there?
oh ya. there is. When do u wanna talk to her/him?
Is it like a dumpster, or a wheelie bin because, and call me shallow, but I'm not really into fat bins.
thats k! This is really slim. And its a wheelie! And come over to have a look! Its waiting gladly for ya deary babes! :)
Too late, my neighbors recycling bin proposed to me last night. Its got a slick blue look, I couldnt resist. The weddings in May, want an invite?
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hey gorgeous wow i love your pic i would love to fuck you in a play ground or at a park how do you like it i love to play rough and would pleasure you how ever you would like me to lets get naughty baby. thats sucks bout your ex owell we can have more fun
Oh baby, I'd love it if you used more grammar. In fact, any grammar would do really.
sorry? what do you mean by no grammar?
well usually when you type a sentence like this that contains no punctuation marks exclamation points question marks and a bucket load of bad speling then youve just got one long sentance that stops and starts nowhere making it extreamly hard for the reader to understand and quite frankly not making me feel very horney whatsoever compleatly illuding me as to why you emailed me in the firstplace god im so wet right now
wet you say, Im so horny!! sorry about the grammar, it'll pick right up for you =)
Im sure you will. Bye.
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The names ****. Have to find out if your ad is for real though, please email me if it is and send me a hotter picture, then I'll send a picture your way. I'd do you anywhere, I've done it on a train full of people before lol. That was scary.. Cheers
On a train? Really? Did you get any ticket inspectors involved?
Was thinking about it, but then I decided I don't like fat old men.
Thats too bad, I've got a fat old ticket inspector man fetish.
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Hey there, I'm 19 year old, from sydney and i am still a Virgin. But i would like to make my first time rememberable. So please get in contect with me and we will defenatly get up something extremely wild. like in the park or in Train stations. lolz' Cheers, Looking forward to hear from you
This guy had to be kidding right? I mean, who goes on a dating site and willingly admits that they're a virgin? So I replied with this:
Wow baby, thats so hot. I love Virgins, especially music stores and aeroplanes. But how can you get up to something 'wild' if youve never been 'wild' before?
Surprisingly enough, he didn't reply. Idiot.
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hi dear, if you want to try new friendship, not the one that is only think of relation, but the one who wants to be happy with, lets try it, we can join the life, talking, walking and drinking together, we can laugh together and we can have the best time, so if you want to be cool just send me an email::)) show must goes on
Cant we just have sex? Hot, wild, passionate, filthy, illegal sex?
Sure!
Sorry, just lost my mojo.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm one of those guys that says pfft I'm not answering that ad it's clearly designed to lure me in and then take my money, car and pants. Anyway if it's not say hi to me.
Hi to me.
hahah lovely, hi to me too. So... who are you? how old are you?
Someone you work with, and I don't think the manager's gonna be happy when he hears that you spend weekends trolling through dating sites. Nor the staff.
Really? i work for a film company that distributes pornographic films. I'm sure my mates at work won't mind.
LIAR!
Yeah, It's true I don't distribute pornography. But we can all dream can't we.
You can 'dream' about getting fired.
Ok. Cya monday.
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bad for your boyfriend good for everyone else Id have you wear a short skirt and do you from behind in a packed bar you know where every one is pushed together id slip into your allready wet pussy and you would have no underwear on and you bend slightly foward to let me in and after I take you aut to the car park to finish the job off with my toung after your two tis my turn and I take you home to the big bed and toys to fuck you sensles all nightlong till you beg me to cum and let you sleep.good night mitch
Wow! You do sound like a young little go-getter. That sounds perfect, hopefully the staff at my retirement home will let me out for the night and I may take a little while putting on my support system bra, but after that we can boogie like back in the good 'ol days. I hope you have a fetish for walking frames!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, I would takeyou behind any restaurant or shop, in fact i would just take you from behind.
Infact, I would just take you. See what I did there.
Ok, then take me. Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
I was born in Italy by the way and i do take off your panties very quickly.
Wowie, are you a magician? What other tricks can you do?
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Hey, whats your private email? How long you in OZ for?
Well it depends really. Dorothy keeps going on and on about finding her way home and judging by how long this yellow brick road looks, probably a while.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i am interested. but yuo are in so far. i am in city. hoe can we meet?
Indian smoke signal?
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Hi.. Well I'd like to do you in my boat infront of the opera house.. my boat is still a virgin.. and really want to break it in.. Want to help?
Sure! As long as you and the boat make it all about me. Just out of curiosity, how well hung is it?
Of course I could make it all about you.... Do you have some other suggestions of things you would like to do? How well hung is it? You mean me?? Ahh just average I guess... about 6in.. Why are you some girl that only loves big?? It's all about angles etc.. I am sure 6in would do you just fine!
No, I mean the boat. 4 footer? Mmm, I hope its got a milky finish, that color really gets me off. In fact, screw you, when can me and your boat meet up?
Haha..
Ahh the boat.. Well it's 5.4m, so 18 foot, but seems bigger cause it is really wide.
haha.. so you like boats?! Milky finish aye... yeh it's white.
So where are you in Syd? Are you at work at the moment?
Im on my mobile email down at the docks searching for your boat. All these boats, I'm so turned on. Oh look! A cruise liner!
Unfortunately it's not at a dock!
You really don;t like to reveal much about yourself do you??!
It sure as hell was taking this guy a while to click on, so the next email sent said how this was all a joke, yada yada. Here's his reply:
Wow, i had no idea! Kinda thought you were a bit seedy haha!
So did you wanna meet up[?
Wow.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ill admit, this one was rather difficult to pull off, it seems like more and more guys are getting the hang of writing decent, legible emails to girls. I guess this means we must delve further into our twisted minds to think up even more ridiculous ads to post on Gumtree without getting banned.
Labels: gumtree got brainwav'd
