People who should be shot #3
posted by John Surname @ 1:25 PM
This time, bogans trying to pick up girls on trains should be shot.
Example 1: Last year at an inner suburban station, an absolute bogan walked over to the prettiest girl at the station and pulled his best moves on her. By best moves, I mean he slurred "Where you off to, love?". "Um, home" replied she uncomfortably. Now, excuse me for zoning out here, but I did, and the next time I tuned back into their conversation he was impressing her by bagging Tasmania. "You know, like, everyone in Tassie is inbred and that" he said. She wasn't impressed, instead replying "That isn't true. I'm from Tasmania". He realised his mistake here, and decided to really bring out the big guns. "Well, my girlfriend is from Tassie, so you're right". If you guessed he said this to try and prove to her he could get girls, you'd be right. She just walked off without saying a word leaving him to look like the cock he is.
Verdict: BRUSHED OFF!
Example 2: On the train recently, a total bogan was sitting near me and putting on one of those "look at me!" attention grabbing stunts they do. You know the ones. This one was making a great show of sitting on his seat, and putting his feet up and then changing position every thirty seconds. Eventually, an extremely attractive blonde got on the train and sat down near the back. Instantly, he got up and chose a seat near her. "Watch this" I told my girlfriend "He's going to try to pick her up!". Sure enough, he suddenly swung around intoned that classic line: "What's your name love?". She was far too polite to tell him to sod off, and answered his many questions with a disinterested air.
Verdict: Although I had to get off before he did, I'm certain he was BRUSHED OFF!
Example 3: Yesterday a bogan got on the same train as me. He sat several rows away,. but facing my direction so I could spy his every move. Behind him sat a gorgeous female, way out off his league. He made a big show off drinking a can of lemonade (as you do), and got up at one station to throw the can into the bin from the door. After he had done this, he turned to see if she was watching. She wasn't. So he went back to his seat, leaned back and asked for the time. She gave it to him and he thought "Yes! I'm in with a chance!". Thus, he began boring her with stories about his car, and the time he bought a 1986 Corolla. Nothing impresses the ladiez like that piece of shit. Anyway, she began to get more and more uncomfortable until she fled for the door without even saying goodbye five stations later.
Not to worry.
An attractive blonde got on and sat down near him. Instantly he said something inaudible to her. She didn't even look at him.
How I laughed!
Annoyed, he waited two stations until ANOTHER girl got on, and sure enough, he started chatting her up. Luckily, she was a complete bogan as well and was interested in his shitty car, and probably amazed such a wonderful guy wanted to speak to her.
Verdict: Brushed off TWICE in 5 minutes, possible score, I got off before he did.
So, as you can see, these bogans need to be dealt with. I suggest replacing ticket inspectors with "Pick Up inspectors", who carry concealed weapons and shoot bogans who hassle females who can't escape.
And a tip for the bogans: The train is not a nightclub. Leave girls the fuck alone.
Example 1: Last year at an inner suburban station, an absolute bogan walked over to the prettiest girl at the station and pulled his best moves on her. By best moves, I mean he slurred "Where you off to, love?". "Um, home" replied she uncomfortably. Now, excuse me for zoning out here, but I did, and the next time I tuned back into their conversation he was impressing her by bagging Tasmania. "You know, like, everyone in Tassie is inbred and that" he said. She wasn't impressed, instead replying "That isn't true. I'm from Tasmania". He realised his mistake here, and decided to really bring out the big guns. "Well, my girlfriend is from Tassie, so you're right". If you guessed he said this to try and prove to her he could get girls, you'd be right. She just walked off without saying a word leaving him to look like the cock he is.
Verdict: BRUSHED OFF!
Example 2: On the train recently, a total bogan was sitting near me and putting on one of those "look at me!" attention grabbing stunts they do. You know the ones. This one was making a great show of sitting on his seat, and putting his feet up and then changing position every thirty seconds. Eventually, an extremely attractive blonde got on the train and sat down near the back. Instantly, he got up and chose a seat near her. "Watch this" I told my girlfriend "He's going to try to pick her up!". Sure enough, he suddenly swung around intoned that classic line: "What's your name love?". She was far too polite to tell him to sod off, and answered his many questions with a disinterested air.
Verdict: Although I had to get off before he did, I'm certain he was BRUSHED OFF!
Example 3: Yesterday a bogan got on the same train as me. He sat several rows away,. but facing my direction so I could spy his every move. Behind him sat a gorgeous female, way out off his league. He made a big show off drinking a can of lemonade (as you do), and got up at one station to throw the can into the bin from the door. After he had done this, he turned to see if she was watching. She wasn't. So he went back to his seat, leaned back and asked for the time. She gave it to him and he thought "Yes! I'm in with a chance!". Thus, he began boring her with stories about his car, and the time he bought a 1986 Corolla. Nothing impresses the ladiez like that piece of shit. Anyway, she began to get more and more uncomfortable until she fled for the door without even saying goodbye five stations later.
Not to worry.
An attractive blonde got on and sat down near him. Instantly he said something inaudible to her. She didn't even look at him.
How I laughed!
Annoyed, he waited two stations until ANOTHER girl got on, and sure enough, he started chatting her up. Luckily, she was a complete bogan as well and was interested in his shitty car, and probably amazed such a wonderful guy wanted to speak to her.
Verdict: Brushed off TWICE in 5 minutes, possible score, I got off before he did.
So, as you can see, these bogans need to be dealt with. I suggest replacing ticket inspectors with "Pick Up inspectors", who carry concealed weapons and shoot bogans who hassle females who can't escape.
And a tip for the bogans: The train is not a nightclub. Leave girls the fuck alone.
Labels: bogans, people who should be shot
